Teachers get drained from managing tough personalities. In addition, principals fill up most of their day dealing with challenging students that exhibit tough behaviors. They might serve a detention or write a letter of apology to a teacher but most of them make it back to the classroom to interrupt another day. What are teachers to do? I know many teachers would say, “Well, you are not engaging them enough or your lessons are not effective?” It is easy for many teachers who do not work with students in at risk situations to say those things. They have no idea on how it is to work with students who lack parenting at home or students who have to take care of their siblings because mom or dad has to work two jobs to make ends meet. Many of these students are in survival mode. They might not have enough food to eat at home. Breakfast and lunch might be the only meals they eat all day.  

With some of the disruptive students I work with, I am beyond using the normal disciplinary measures because nothing works.   The only thing that has somewhat worked is establishing some kind of real connection with them but even that is not effective because so many of them mistrust the adults in their lives. It is  tough to get to know them. If I do not get to know them it becomes tougher to teach them math or language arts.

Changing minds is hard. These students come to school with hardened personal dispositions created by volatile home environments that inflict serious damage on their learning process. We can try all we want to change their minds about how we want them to learn  in class but their minds are made up. They are unmotivated and unwilling to connect with other students and even teachers. Their feelings are real. However, if there is one thing that I can do to try and make true connections with them is changing the mood. I might crack a joke or tell a funny story to ease the tension a bit but I am not always successful.